Miracles, post dedicated to Benjamin Low

I'm crying and bawling my eyes out right now. Not due to sorrow, but due to myriads of emotions synonym to the likes of "ecstasy", "disbelief" and most importantly, "gratitude."

I've broke down one time too many in prayers before the Lord due to what I've been carrying through. But I've always thanked Him for all that has happened because ultimately, it makes achievement much sweeter. I deny not, I've felt stress-laden with all that has been happening - my grandmother's struggle with cancer, my domestic unrest, my academic woes, my mountains of debts, my musical pursuit, etc - but all I know is that, because of these, the Lord's been able to maximise my capacity and I'm thankful. Because in all my prayers, I say, "I do not ask for lighter burden, just stronger shoulders." And if He decides to put me in all these, He'll bring me through all these. And that was when Benjamin Low offered me a chance to perform with him for commission. That very moment, I broke down and cried like I've never sobbed in years. You don't know how that felt, like a great intangible force - of hope - slamming upon your mind and body. Like suddenly, amidst the Sahara, you see an oasis. I thought it was a mirage, then again, it was real. I've never met such selfless person. And I just cried out my heart of all the accumulated stress I've endured through and ask him, "why do you want to do this for me?"

"Because you're a close friend."

I felt like someone appreciated me. Benjamin Low, my God-given brethren, you do not know the impact you've made with one sentence alone. Seemingly casual, but powerful. I felt liberated, I felt like Moses finally leading his people out of Egypt, I felt no longer like I was fighting this all alone. Someone understood my plight and most of all, my prayer came true. And this is when I realize what the bible says is truly, and undoubtedly, trustworthy.

"Ask and you shall receive, seek and you shall find."

And there upon, the moment in time, I was in this hysteria with delirium churning in the pits of my stomach. I can't really explain it, I haven't got the words. It's a feeling that you can't control. It's like that you've been crying, and you're empty and you're full. I was flying, like a bird, but shot with impulses of electricity. I believe this is a synthesis of ecstacy and disbelief wrapped up by hope, very thrilling.

Benjamin Low came to my school when I was primary 5, formerly from Saint Andrew's. And then on, I never remembered a single moment when he was selfish - I say this with absolute honesty. His birthday was the first birthday party I went to. And he was one of those few people whom relate in exact same frequency with me in terms of music. I even remember poignantly how he actually transcribed and rearrange the whole piece of "Light of Dawn" into a piano masterclass. It stole the whole band's spirits away and each tinkling of the ivory was embraced with wide-eyed stares and dropped jaws. It was enchanting yet amazing at the same time. And that was not it, even after graduation from primary school, he hasn't changed. I organized a class gathering, and it was a fluke. But he stood by my side. That was when I fully came to appreciate him because I was already a teenage and I've learnt to be more appreciative. I've come to see his selflessness and generousity. I can never remember any incident when I got hurt by him at all. And even now, after almost 4 years, he is still the Benjamin I came to know.

I cannot thank God enough for having this dearest brethren come into my life. Even after such long time, when people have forgotten each other and moved on, he never forgot me and almost immediately offered salvation to my plight. I was caught shocked yet amazed at his selflessness for a friend he hasn't been talking to for four years. Honestly, even up till now, about an hour since the conversation was over, I still cannot bring myself to believe the miracle God has placed into my life. This has brought the song, "When You Believe" to continuously replay over in my mind. The very poignant lyrics, oh so apt.

Benjamin Low, once again, in the messy state of delirium, I'd like to thank you once again with all my heart for the hope you've given me. You're my prayer answered and every tear I've shed represents the liberation you've brought for me. The sweat and blood I've sacrificed.

You're a Miracle. You're the prayer God reciprocated to me, Hallelujah.

Many nights we've prayed
With no proof anyone could hear
In our hearts a hopeful song
We barely understood

Now we are not afraid
Although we know there's much to fear
We were moving mountains
Long before we knew we could

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will,
You will when you believe

In this time of fear
When prayer so often proves in vain
Hope seemed like the summer birds
Too swiftly flown away

Yet now I'm standing here
My heart's so full, I can't explain
Seeking faith and speaking words
I never thought I'd say

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will,
You will when you believe

So in times when all your hope is gone
And you go through life afraid
In your heart there lies a hopeful song
That is there to guide the way
And all the hurt and all the pain
You soon will learn was not in vain
For all your prayers, they will be heard
They'll come to pass through faith

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will,
You will when you believe

Once again, thank you.